Everything 2015 Taught Me About Harassment

It would be easy to say 2015 was about herpes. In reality, this year was about my voice and the Internet and growing up and falling short. I conquered some demons by capturing a specter in words. I gained a few thousand Twitter followers. I broke my own heart and never wrote about it. I moved into […]

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We Can’t Allow Sexual Harassment In The Herpes Community

UPDATE 4/21/2016: Although I will always stand by the contents of the letter below, I no longer feel comfortable endorsing the work of Rafaella Gunz going forward. While I wish her well, we have professional differences as activists and as writers. The headline of this post has been changed to reflect that. No matter the circumstances, the sexual […]

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Why I Stand With Planned Parenthood

I’m watching CNN. There is an active shooter at a Planned Parenthood clinic in Colorado and the exact number of casualties is unknown. They don’t know much other than the gender of the gunman: male. People on Twitter think he’s white. I can’t help but feel numb, watching talking heads bicker about if this could […]

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The Selfie Tradition: 2015 Edition

I made a pact with myself last year to take a selfie and share it every November 21st. The date has special significance to me; November 21st, 2013 was the night I met some of my closest friends who put me back on track to being a smug, self-loving bitch after six months of struggling with my herpes diagnosis. I […]

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Writing The Ones You Love(d): Consent In Sex Writing

Most of my essays start with a text message: “Hey, do you mind if I write about you for my blog?” What I’m really asking runs the gamut from hey, do you mind if I write about our not-quite-relationship that defies definition but makes me feel all giddy to hey, do you mind if I write […]

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To The Teenage Girls Who Have Herpes

I remember the first time I was ever called a whore. I had just turned fifteen and this boy, this arrogant little fucker, was angry because I had “broken up” with him after one movie date in order to ask out someone cuter. Our group of friends was walking to the gas station after school to buy gigantic fountain […]

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Happy Birthday to Femsplain!

The theme over on Femsplain this month is “dreams,” which is pretty cute considering they just made a huge dream of mine come true. I’m delighted to announce that I am now a featured contributor for Femsplain! I’ve sung the praises of Femsplain before. The digital publication—which turns one year old this month—is run by women, […]

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The Boner Backlash: Stop Telling Me You Would Still Fuck Me

I get asked a lot if I have seen a backlash to my herpes activism. The simple answer is no, because it isn’t the backlash people expect. No one is raising ‘whore’ banners against me, and I largely ignore negative comments on social media when the response I’ve met has been so overwhelmingly supportive. There […]

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The badass women of TED: or, my second herpes outbreak

I have never wanted to be flawless. It took a long time to understand that about myself. I don’t mean flawless in the “***flawless” Beyoncé sense; I mean perfect, undamaged, smooth—what young women are supposed to strive to be. My edges have always been jagged, and I’m a provocative person despite how much I loathe […]

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Bachelorella update: Bachelor Nation turns on itself, calls out its sexism

I went to bed angry last night, and apparently I wasn’t the only one judging by the mess that was my Twitter feed this morning. Bachelor Nation seems in agreement that the decision to pit Kaitlyn and Britt against each other in the first episode of the upcoming season of The Bachelorette is tacky, shitty, and […]

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