You Don’t Need to Forgive People Who Hurt You

You do not need to forgive people who have been abusive to you. You do not need to rise above them, or make peace with them, or even pity them. You need to do whatever is best for you.

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Everything 2015 Taught Me About Harassment

It would be easy to say 2015 was about herpes. In reality, this year was about my voice and the Internet and growing up and falling short. I conquered some demons by capturing a specter in words. I gained a few thousand Twitter followers. I broke my own heart and never wrote about it. I moved into […]

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“Who Has The Time To Count Facebook Likes?” Fuck You, I Do.

I get so pissed off when people rag on social media. You know that conversation, usually at a cocktail party (oh who am I kidding, I’m twenty-three and I go to cramped apartment parties or loud bars where I have to strain myself to reluctantly listen to sermons about modern technology), when someone you thought […]

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Happy Birthday to Femsplain!

The theme over on Femsplain this month is “dreams,” which is pretty cute considering they just made a huge dream of mine come true. I’m delighted to announce that I am now a featured contributor for Femsplain! I’ve sung the praises of Femsplain before. The digital publication—which turns one year old this month—is run by women, […]

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Bachelorella: The Bachelorette Gets Real About Online Harassment

The producers of The Bachelorette made an interesting choice during tonight’s “Men Tell All” episode. Between the awkward reunions and desperate attempts to rebuild reputations, Kaitlyn Bristowe and Chris Harrison had an honest conversation about the tidal waves of harassment this season’s Bachelorette has received online. In a controversial move, Harrison read out several real […]

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The Boner Backlash: Stop Telling Me You Would Still Fuck Me

I get asked a lot if I have seen a backlash to my herpes activism. The simple answer is no, because it isn’t the backlash people expect. No one is raising ‘whore’ banners against me, and I largely ignore negative comments on social media when the response I’ve met has been so overwhelmingly supportive. There […]

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I went to the Outlander premiere, where everyone laughed at domestic violence

I’m sitting in the beautiful Ziegfeld Theater in midtown Manhattan, watching a woman be beaten with a belt. The audience around me is laughing, clapping, and whistling. My plus one winces as he watches the scene through his fingers. I listen to the delighted howls echoing through the theater and wonder if I am missing […]

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Bachelorella update: Bachelor Nation turns on itself, calls out its sexism

I went to bed angry last night, and apparently I wasn’t the only one judging by the mess that was my Twitter feed this morning. Bachelor Nation seems in agreement that the decision to pit Kaitlyn and Britt against each other in the first episode of the upcoming season of The Bachelorette is tacky, shitty, and […]

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Bachelorella Finale Recap: Why having two Bachelorettes is BULLSHIT

I’m going to try to recap the actual finale of The Bachelor before I descend into my rage spiral about the decision to have two Bachelorettes. Thankfully I wrote half of my recap during “After The Final Rose” before the big announcement, back when I had faith in society and was not shuddering with rage. […]

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Bachelorella Recap Week 9: Lady-on-lady crime

Last night was the penultimate episode of The Bachelor: the Women Tell All, also known as “let’s put the rejects in a room with Chris and a studio audience and see what happens.” Traditionally there is a lot of crying, demands of closure, and some awkward confrontations. Host Chris Harrison yucks it up with the ladies and nods sympathetically as […]

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