A Friendly Reminder That You Don’t Know Me

An odd thing happened this weekend: an idiot on Twitter really wanted my attention. I say idiot because this young gentleman truly seemed to be stupid rather than malicious in his persistent need to speak to me despite my obvious disinterest. This young gentleman joined Twitter just to communicate with me, a suggestion he denied […]

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That Time I Verbally Assaulted a Group of Teenage Boys at McDonald’s

Let me make one thing clear: few places on Earth mean more to me than the McDonald’s of Middletown, Connecticut. For four years of college, that little fast food oasis just off campus was my happy place—day or night, sober or hungover, with friends or flying solo. There were a lot of 4 am drive-through […]

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Why STDRegistry.com Is Disgusting, and Outing Your Ex as STI+ Makes You an Asshole

A few weeks ago I wrote a carefully crafted essay on my conflicted feelings about individuals who fail to disclose their herpes status and the criminalization of the transmission of sexually transmitted infections. These are painful topics, highly subjective and personal, and I delicately side-stepped any absolutes on what is and is not immoral. My […]

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Everything 2015 Taught Me About Harassment

It would be easy to say 2015 was about herpes. In reality, this year was about my voice and the Internet and growing up and falling short. I conquered some demons by capturing a specter in words. I gained a few thousand Twitter followers. I broke my own heart and never wrote about it. I moved into […]

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We Can’t Allow Sexual Harassment In The Herpes Community

UPDATE 4/21/2016: Although I will always stand by the contents of the letter below, I no longer feel comfortable endorsing the work of Rafaella Gunz going forward. While I wish her well, we have professional differences as activists and as writers. The headline of this post has been changed to reflect that. No matter the circumstances, the sexual […]

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Why “Peeple” Is Dangerous To Survivors… and, Really, Anyone

UPDATE 3/7/2016: Peeple has launched, with a new paid “truth license” that allows you to read hidden reviews to come soon. You can read my latest take here. I work in social media. It is part of my job to stay up-to-date on the myriad new social networks that spring up like weeds every day. Some […]

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Bachelorella: The Bachelorette Gets Real About Online Harassment

The producers of The Bachelorette made an interesting choice during tonight’s “Men Tell All” episode. Between the awkward reunions and desperate attempts to rebuild reputations, Kaitlyn Bristowe and Chris Harrison had an honest conversation about the tidal waves of harassment this season’s Bachelorette has received online. In a controversial move, Harrison read out several real […]

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Bachelorella: How The Bachelorette Got Bystander Intervention Right

In the midst of what was arguably the most sexist season premiere of The Bachelor/Bachelorette franchise, a magical thing happened. There was a beautiful lesson in sexual harassment and bystander intervention, and I felt for a fleeting few minutes like the world was a better place than it was. Let me rewind. Quirky, edgy Kaitlyn and […]

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The Boner Backlash: Stop Telling Me You Would Still Fuck Me

I get asked a lot if I have seen a backlash to my herpes activism. The simple answer is no, because it isn’t the backlash people expect. No one is raising ‘whore’ banners against me, and I largely ignore negative comments on social media when the response I’ve met has been so overwhelmingly supportive. There […]

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