Qs to Help You Unpack Your Assumptions About Rape and Abuse

September 19, 2022.Reading time 5 minutes.

What unconscious beliefs do you hold about domestic abuse and sexual violence?

Why You Should Have an Emergency Contact Person For Your Relationships

October 8, 2021.Reading time 7 minutes.

Deputize someone to tell you the unvarnished truth if they think you are dating the wrong person.

The Kind of Girl Who Gets Herpes

March 8, 2021.Reading time 32 minutes.

“I guess this is what I get for falling for a girl like you.” An insult tossed off so casually, so precisely designed to gut me.

Introducing “LIFE RUINER,” A Micro-Memoir About Herpes and Abusive Relationships

December 21, 2020.Reading time 9 minutes.

While I’ve alluded to the less than ideal circumstances surrounding my herpes diagnosis, I’ve never told the story from start to finish.

Maybe He Doesn’t Hit You

May 11, 2016.Reading time 9 minutes.

Maybe he doesn’t hit you but he collects your infractions and lines them up on his desk like so many surgical knives.

Why Having A Boyfriend Doesn’t Cure Herpes

January 24, 2016.Reading time 15 minutes.

We’ve all read that essay: the woman who gets herpes because she caves to temptation just once and has a regrettable one-night-stand, but goes on to find happiness because she meets that one man who loves her just as she is, STI and all. You can find it in glossy women’s magazines and anonymous chat […]

How I Use Trigger Warnings

August 13, 2015.Reading time 15 minutes.

So The Atlantic published another (another?!) article about trigger warnings this week, meaning my Facebook and Twitter feeds were full of outraged baby boomers yet again. Trigger warnings have become emblematic of the over-sensitivity and out of control political correctness of my generation, if you believe the media and its breathless coverage of the “trend” […]

The Herpes Interviews: The Best Friend

August 7, 2015.Reading time 47 minutes.

I had a secret weapon when it came to dealing with my herpes diagnosis: my best friend. This interview is different from the previous two I’ve done—BFF is not a romantic partner, but she knows me better than any boyfriend ever could. We grew up together in those stupidly formative years of college, navigating hookup culture, […]

The Conversation That Never Happened: On Herpes and Abusive Relationships

June 12, 2015.Reading time 10 minutes.

I think I texted him that I needed to talk and asked if we could meet up. I might have called him directly, but my voice was shaking and brittle and I knew he would hear it. So I think I texted him, and he must have called me instead of answering the text—he liked […]