Bachelorella Finale Recap: Why having two Bachelorettes is BULLSHIT

I’m going to try to recap the actual finale of The Bachelor before I descend into my rage spiral about the decision to have two Bachelorettes. Thankfully I wrote half of my recap during “After The Final Rose” before the big announcement, back when I had faith in society and was not shuddering with rage. […]

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Bachelorella Recap Week 9: Lady-on-lady crime

Last night was the penultimate episode of The Bachelor: the Women Tell All, also known as “let’s put the rejects in a room with Chris and a studio audience and see what happens.” Traditionally there is a lot of crying, demands of closure, and some awkward confrontations. Host Chris Harrison yucks it up with the ladies and nods sympathetically as […]

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Bachelorella Recap Week 8: Sex, love, and the issue of choice

This week was the fantasy suite episode of The Bachelor. It was pretty boring. This was the most boring episode we’ve had in a while. For the uninformed, here’s the deal with the fantasy suite: Chris and his lady have the option to stay in a hotel room ~without any cameras~ for an entire night. […]

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Bachelorella Recap Week 7: Deal breakers (Iowa vs. Playboy)

The Bachelor franchise graced us with five hours of television this week, thanks to back-to-back episodes on Sunday and Monday nights. This is far too much Bachelor for me to process. In a nutshell: Britt continued to be super fake, Carly ratted her out to Chris, and when provoked Britt self-destructed in an “I need […]

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Bachelorella Recap Week 6: What makes a woman perfect (for Chris)?

“Sorry I’m not from Pleasantville. I’m from fricken 2014. You and I both have our masters, and I have it from a good place… if you don’t think I’m intelligent enough to see through you, you’re friggen hilarious.” – Ashley I. It was the catfight heard around the world. This season’s dreaded two-on-one date (two […]

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Bachelorella Recap Week 4: Prince Farming, Cinderella, and a Kardashian Stepsister

This week The Bachelor was all about Cinderella—Disney’s new live-action version, that is, in theaters this March. The entire one-on-one date served as a massive plug for the movie, with clips of it interspersed through the episode with no attempt at subtlety. In a stunning move of product placement, the rose on the date sat […]

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Bachelorella Recap Week 3: Is this the season of gender equitable slut-shaming?

For no apparent reason, Jimmy Kimmel crashed The Bachelor this week. His presence was as inexplicable as it was painful—Kimmel mocked the series in ways that seemed more mean-spirited than clever, putting Chris and the bachelorettes on the spot and inserting himself into moments where he didn’t belong. I’m on Team Fallon in the late night […]

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Bachelorella Recap Week 2: Widows and virgins and whores, Oh my!

This week’s episode of The Bachelor was very hard to watch. I’m not talking “guilty pleasure, why am I watching this don’t you DARE touch the remote, mom” hard to watch. I’m talking painful, uncomfortable, over-edited and genuinely difficult to watch. I found myself getting up to make a snack, refill my Diet Coke, and […]

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Bachelorella Week 1 Recap: In praise of the sloppy drunk girl

When I first committed to recapping this season of The Bachelor, I have to admit I was nervous. This blog is home to various feminist pop culture commentary, and The Bachelor franchise is widely agreed to be one of the most sexist programs on television. Had I bought into the marketing? Was I being duped […]

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