On Holding Hands

November 2, 2021.Reading time 3 minutes.

There’s an intimacy to holding hands. I don’t know anything like it.

Why You Should Have an Emergency Contact Person For Your Relationships

October 8, 2021.Reading time 7 minutes.

Deputize someone to tell you the unvarnished truth if they think you are dating the wrong person.

You Deserve People Who Show Up For You

August 5, 2021.Reading time 4 minutes.

A pink photograph of three statues of nude women posed together like close friends.

You deserve friends who check in—not just the day after, or the week after, but months after.

‘Happiest Season’ Breaks The Only Rom-Com Rule That Matters

November 27, 2020.Reading time 15 minutes.

If you’re making a romantic comedy, you need to write a relationship — and a love interest — worth rooting for.

ASK ELLA: Should I Date Someone with Herpes?

June 25, 2020.Reading time 10 minutes.

Whatever you decide, I hope you treat your “someone” with the respect and thoughtfulness you’re showing now as you learn about their virus.

You Deserve a Partner Who Texts You Back

July 3, 2019.Reading time 8 minutes.

Maybe not immediately, maybe not every single time, but reliably and honestly and with care.

4 Books to Read If You’re Worried You Don’t Know How to Love

December 16, 2018.Reading time 12 minutes.

Here is my curriculum for the emotionally lost and intimacy challenged.

Why Should I Date Someone With Herpes?

January 28, 2016.Reading time 2 minutes.

Does your dick get hard around her? Is she nice?

Why Having A Boyfriend Doesn’t Cure Herpes

January 24, 2016.Reading time 15 minutes.

We’ve all read that essay: the woman who gets herpes because she caves to temptation just once and has a regrettable one-night-stand, but goes on to find happiness because she meets that one man who loves her just as she is, STI and all. You can find it in glossy women’s magazines and anonymous chat […]

Ella’s Guide To Texting Your Potential Bae

July 19, 2015.Reading time 15 minutes.

I’ve earned a reputation for being an assertive, direct person when it comes to letting someone know that I’m interested, romantically or sexually. What I haven’t talked about much is that many of those “hey, I want to bone you” conversations have happened over text message, when I couldn’t see the person’s face and they couldn’t see mine. […]