Ask Ella: Should I Date Someone with Herpes?
Whatever you decide, I hope you treat your “someone” with the respect and thoughtfulness you’re showing now as you learn about their virus.
Read MoreTag: herpes stigma
Herpes And Shame, Six Years Later
Healing isn’t fun or narratively appealing: it’s a whole lot of pulling off scabs and dissecting long broken bones that didn’t set properly. It’s hard.
Read MoreWhat Herpes Activism Looks Like In Trump’s America
It’s time to do the systemic work and take on the underlying structural issues that make herpes stigma so powerful.
Read MoreWhy I Will Never Support Herpes or STI Dating Sites
Let me be very clear: I will never endorse an STI dating site. Period. Ever. You’ve got the wrong woman.
Read MoreWhy I’m Taking a Summer Vacation From Activism
Barring an unforeseen celebrity scandal, I don’t want to publish the word “herpes” until the heat breaks in Brooklyn.
Read MoreWatch My TEDx Talk: STIs aren’t a consequence. They’re inevitable. [With Transcript]
I don’t care how you got herpes. An STI is not a reflection of your character or a consequence of a bad decision.
Read MoreWhy I Don’t Call Herpes a “Gift”
We need to make space for nuance as the conversation about STIs becomes more than the occasional personal essay on a lady blog.
Read MoreHow to Give a TEDx Talk When the Internet Wants You to Shut the Fuck Up
The abuse we received for #ShoutYourStatus was intensely gendered, violent, sexual and dehumanizing.
Read MoreI Am Not “Suffering” From Herpes
I’m exhausted today. Someone I’m seeing came over late last night to, in his words, “fuck the shit out of me,” and by the time he left it was just shy of 1:30am. I took a shower and then lazed around in bed, smelling him in my hair and remembering how he kissed my neck, how […]
Read MoreWhy Should I Date Someone With Herpes?
Here’s another pet peeve of my email inbox: when a man (because it’s almost always a man) asks me if he should continue seeing this woman he’s been dating who just told him she has herpes. Sometimes the question is data-based, about what transmission statistics are real. Sometimes the question is esoteric, about whether or not […]
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