How to Give a TEDx Talk When the Internet Wants You to Shut the Fuck Up

April 19, 2016.Reading time 12 minutes.

The abuse we received for #ShoutYourStatus was intensely gendered, violent, sexual and dehumanizing.

I Am Not “Suffering” From Herpes

March 14, 2016.Reading time 10 minutes.

I’m exhausted today. Someone I’m seeing came over late last night to, in his words, “fuck the shit out of me,” and by the time he left it was just shy of 1:30am. I took a shower and then lazed around in bed, smelling him in my hair and remembering how he kissed my neck, how […]

Why Should I Date Someone With Herpes?

January 28, 2016.Reading time 10 minutes.

Here’s another pet peeve of my email inbox: when a man (because it’s almost always a man) asks me if he should continue seeing this woman he’s been dating who just told him she has herpes. Sometimes the question is data-based, about what transmission statistics are real. Sometimes the question is esoteric, about whether or not […]

Bachelorella: We Need To Retire The Las Vegas Herpes Joke

January 25, 2016.Reading time 8 minutes.

I haven’t been writing Bachelorella recaps this season of The Bachelor because I am busy and tired and nothing interesting has happened. And then tonight The Bachelor put Ben H.’s harem of girlfriends on a jet (or, possibly, on a passive aggressive party bus) and dragged them to Las Vegas. And I cringed, because I knew what was […]

Why Having A Boyfriend Doesn’t Cure Herpes

January 24, 2016.Reading time 15 minutes.

We’ve all read that essay: the woman who gets herpes because she caves to temptation just once and has a regrettable one-night-stand, but goes on to find happiness because she meets that one man who loves her just as she is, STI and all. You can find it in glossy women’s magazines and anonymous chat […]

Why STDRegistry.com Is Disgusting, and Outing Your Ex as STI+ Makes You an Asshole

January 14, 2016.Reading time 18 minutes.

I stopped. I went back and read the paragraph again. STDRegistry. STDRegistry. No. Absolutely not.

Dear VICE, Stop Using This Photo of a Smashed Banana on Your STI Articles

January 7, 2016.Reading time 6 minutes.

Look, VICE. We need to have a quick chat. You’ve been on the STI beat this year, and I respect that. One of your journalists wrote a great piece about me over the summer and she was super lovely and considerate. It was a positive experience. But then the article used a repulsive image of […]

To The Teenage Girls Who Have Herpes

October 20, 2015.Reading time 4 minutes.

This world will tell you that you are worthless: because you are a girl, because you are sexually active, because you have a virus, because you have a voice. Don’t listen to it.

Dear Internet Commenters Who Really Don’t Want Herpes,

October 8, 2015.Reading time 7 minutes.

Your Facebook comments have made me think. I’m not being facetious—whenever I read a comment from someone (usually a man) upset that rejecting someone who has an STI makes you a bad person, I wonder why you are so alarmed and defensive. When have I ever said that turning down someone herpes+ makes you a […]

Wesleyan’s Herpes Joke Problem

September 2, 2014.Reading time 7 minutes.

We need to talk about herpes jokes. In particular, we need to talk about herpes jokes and Wesleyan, my dear flawed alma mater. As my younger friends moved into their new dorms in Middletown this weekend, I searched tumblr for posts about STIs. I’m involved in tumblr’s sprawling sexual health support community and track the tags for […]